Posted on December 17, 2015
“Happy Holidays!”
“Merry Christmas!”
“Happy New Year!”
I had never realized how many holidays had the words “happy” or “merry” attached to the day or the season prior to taking my current job as a bereavement counselor at Hospice of Guernsey. I soon became aware that these words frequently have a hollow ring for the bereaved during the holidays, or any events such as birthdays, anniversaries, Mother’s and Father’s Day that were typically thought of as being “happy.”
While being confronted with the “happys” and “merry’s” could present a challenge at any time, it will likely become much more pronounced during the holidays when families traditionally gather together — Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year’s.
Happy memories are often dulled by the pain and sorrow of experiencing the holidays without a loved one who has died.
It seems everywhere you turn there is something to break your heart a little more. Stores are decorated with the symbols of the holiday. The Hallmark Channel reminds us of stories of togetherness, love and sharing. Everyone is beginning to ask the dreaded question, “What are you doing for the holidays?” They can’t seem to wait for that special day to arrive. You can’t wait for it to be over.
So, a commonly asked question by grieving people at this time of year is, “How can I get through the holidays?”
Even with all of the emotions swirling around you, the holiday season does not have to be entirely sad. There are ways to help you cope with your grief during this time. I’ll touch on a few:
PLAN AHEAD: Be aware that this might be a difficult time for you. You may feel out of sorts with the celebratory tone of the season. The additional stress may affect you emotionally, cognitively and physically; this is a NORMAL reaction But it is important to be prepared for these feelings.
LOWER EXPECTATIONS (Recognize that the holidays will not be the same): If you try to keep everything as it was, you’ll be disappointed. Doing things a bit differently can acknowledge the change while preserving continuity with the past.
COMMUNICATE WITH FAMILY MEMBERS: The holiday may affect other family members. Talk over your plans. Respect their choices and needs, and compromise if necessary.
AVOID ADDITIONAL STRESS (accept your limitations): Decide what you really want to do, and what can be avoided. Do the right thing — not what others think is right, but what you need and want to do.
It’s OK to feel SAD.
It’s OK to feel GOOD. Give yourself permission to laugh and even have fun. Some individuals feel guilty if they find themselves enjoying an activity. Laughing is your body’s way of letting you relax and regain some strength for a few moments during your grief.
CRY, CRY, CRY: Allow yourself to cry when you feel the need. It helps you both physically and emotionally. It has an effect similar to exercise in that it reduces stress and calms anxiety.
CONFIDE IN SOMEONE: Find someone to listen who does not feel he must fix the problem. They need to be able to listen over and over to the words that are bottled up inside. (A friend, pastor, counselor.)
TRADITIONS: Keep the old OR start something new.
MEMORIALIZE your loved one: Make it meaningful to you.You may choose to light a candle, hang a special ornament, or buy and donate a gift in memory of your loved one.
Although these special tributes may cause tears, they are usually helpful and therapeutic in helping you through the holidays. Have the family all participate in choosing what to do. Review your lists together, and come to agreement. Help one another with what they need to do to accomplish their gift to their loved one.
The BOTTON LINE is –Make it comfortable for you!
If you are grieving this holiday season, we at Hospice of Guernsey want to extend an invitation to you, offering support in the weeks and months ahead.
For more information on Handling the Holidays: There will be a group meeting on the topic on Tuesday, Nov. 24 at5:30 p.m. at the Hospice office, 9711 East Pike Road, Cambridge.
For more information on bereavement support, contact me at 740-432-7440.
Blessings to you and yours this Holiday Season!
Terri Wootton LISW, ACHP-SW is bereavement coordinator for Hospice of Guernsey.
Posted on November 19, 2015
As you enter the last month of the year, you have already survived one major holiday of the season. I hope that as you focused on the true meaning of Thanksgiving, you were able to give thanks for something good in your life. But don’t stop now; for the Christmas holiday is upon us! Just as I encouraged you to look at the true meaning of Thanksgiving, I urge you to do something similar at Christmas. The author of this poem states her feelings beautifully!
First Christmas
It can’t possibly be Christmas without her being here.
Yet the world is singing round me, joyful tidings and good cheer.
Though I try to put on armor and brave the sights and sounds,
a few moments worth of shopping, and the tears are spilling down.
I pray for strength to do it, find a path through holidays,
look for shortcuts, good ideas, and some directions through the maze.
Then I find at last the answer: I’ll include her symbolically.
And the giving becomes perfect; her love’s flowing down, through me
– Genesse Bourdeau Gentry
Sometimes it only takes a new perspective to help us get through the toughest times. I pray you will allow your loved one to shine through you in some way this holiday season. I hope you will consider joining us for the Holiday Memorial Service on December 10th. The Hospice staff will be in attendance to meet with you.
Upcoming events:
Lunch Bunch …..December 8 at noon at Annie K’s in Barnesville
Memorial Service….. @ Southgate Hotel (Formerly the Holiday Inn) in Cambridge December 10 at 6:00 pm
Lunch Bunch…..December 14 at noon at Mr. Lee’s in Cambridge
Friends of Faith….December 14…A social group meeting for lunch@ Annie K’s@ noon. For questions, contact Lydia Young at 614-313-5525
Breakfast Support Group….December 17 @ Patty’s Place in Belle Valley @ 9:00 am
Suicide Survivor’s Group…..December 17 at 6:00 pm @ Mr. Lee’s
Support Group…..The group meeting on the 4th Tuesday of the month in Cambridge will not meet this month.
I am also available by phone or appointment. For more information on above events, call 740-432-7440. Wishing you a blessed Christmas and a Happier New Year!
Terri Wootton MSW, LISW, ACHP-SW
Bereavement Coordinator
Posted on November 17, 2015
Each year Hospice of Guernsey, Inc. creates a dove ornament to honor your loved ones. This year the ornament also celebrates Hospice of Guernsey’s 30th anniversary. The ornament is an iridescent bulb with a poem, white feathers and snow inside. They are each tied with a gold bow and a plantable seed tag. A donation of $6 per ornament is requested.
The ornaments will decorate the Dove Trees in each community Hospice of Guernsey serves.
Guernsey: Mr. Lee’s Restaurant and Peoples Bank (845 Wheeling Ave.) in Cambridge
Noble: Farmers & Merchants Bank in Caldwell
Belmont: Wes Banco in Barnesville
Funds raised will go to patient care and bereavement services.
The ornaments are yours to keep and can be picked up from the location they are displayed anytime throughout the holidays, OR they will be returned to the Hospice office the week after New Years. They can be picked up at Hospice of Guernsey until January 31.
Click here for the Dove Ornament order form.
Posted on October 29, 2015
Happy Thanksgiving…A time to be thankful. I never realized how many holidays had the words “happy” or “merry” attached to the day or the season prior to taking my current job as bereavement counselor. I soon became aware that these words frequently have a hollow ring for many during the holidays. But as we begin this stretch of the holidays, I encourage you to focus on the true meaning of Thanksgiving, for there are many things for which we can be thankful. Memories are precious. Share some of those with a friend this holiday season. It may mean that you have to make the choice to be thankful. But I believe as you do, you will feel it in your spirit.
If you are struggling this season, we at hospice will be glad to help in any way we can. We are offering a holiday memorial service on Thursday, December 10@ 6:00pm at Southgate Hotel. We are also hosting a special service for survivors of suicide on November 22, recognizing International Survivor’s Day on the 21st. We will meet at the Hospice Office @6:00 p.m. for a candle lighting ceremony, with refreshments to follow. I invite you to come and share these with us.
Many other activities are lined up for the upcoming month. Hope to see you soon.
November 9-“Lunch Bunch” 12:00 @ Mr. Lee’s. An informal time
to eat and share with others who have experienced a loss. Call for information.
November 10-Lunch group @ noon @ Annie K’s in Barnesville
November 16-“Friends of Faith” group@ NOON @ Annie K’s in Barnesville
November 19- Breakfast at Patty’s Place @9:00 a.m. (Note the date change)
November 22-Suicide Survivor’s Candle lighting Memorial Service @ 6:00 p.m.
November 24– Support Group at 5:30 pm at the Hospice office
Feel free to contact me with any questions at 432-7440.
Blessings,
Terri Wootton MSW, LISW, ACHP-SW
Bereavement Coordinator
Posted on September 30, 2015
Paint a canvas full of fall colors with our Art Therapist, Lois Merrill on Tuesday, October 27th from 5:30 to 7 pm. Sip some apple cider as Lois instructs the class on painting a fall tree scene.
The Paint & Sip is free of charge and open to the public. All materials will be provided.
Class is limited to 20 participants, so register early! Call Lois Merrill at 740-432-7440 to register. The Hospice of Guernsey office is located at 9711 East Pike Road, Cambridge, OH 43725.
Posted on September 23, 2015
Fall is now upon us! Fall forces us to reevaluate some things. Our wardrobe is one of them. It is time to pull out the heavier insulation! We need extra protection from the elements and surrounding environment. This may also be true for you at this point in your grief journey. Extra or additional precautions must be taken for you to get through this season of life. It is important for you to take care of your emotional needs as well as your
physical needs. This is a time in your life when it is vital for you to express your feelings, ask and accept help, and be kind to yourself. You also need to get plenty of rest, eat healthy, and be alert for physical problems. You may also begin to set short term and long term goals. You may want to try a new activity, such as joining a club or organization, take a new course, do some volunteer work, or evaluate your career goals. Whatever the case may be, find a purpose for the season in which you are now living. We at hospice will be glad to help in any way we can. Many activities are lined up for the upcoming month. It would be great to see you at some of them. Check your calendar and plan ahead.
October 12- Lunch Bunch at noon at Mr. Lee’s.
October 13– Lunch Bunch at Annie K’s at NOON.
October 15-Suicide Survivor’s Group @ 6:00pm at Mr. Lee’s
October 22-Breakfast group at 9:00 am @ Patty’s Place in Belle Valley.
October 27– Support group @ 5:30pm at the Hospice office
Contact me with any questions at 740-432-7440.
Blessings,
Terri Wootton LISW, ACHP-SW
Bereavement Coordinator
Posted on August 20, 2015
It’s really hard to believe that we are heading into fall. The days are getting shorter, and the evenings are cooler. Change is in the air. For many of you, change took place days, weeks or months ago. Life changes forever when you lose a loved one. It’s as if you are forced to join a club in which you want NO part! Just as we have no control over the calendar and the seasons, we also had no control over the death of our loved ones. The only thing we do have control over is our attitude and how we are going to live with the hand we have been dealt. I can only say to you that things will get easier. In the meanwhile, it is important to surround yourself with positive people, let the tears flow as needed, and remember to live your life as to honor your loved one. Seasons come and go, but memories will live on forever.
I am really grateful that I have the opportunity to speak words into your life each month. I only hope that some of them bring you hope. Many of you I have never met, but I want you to know that you are precious to us here at Hospice, and we are here to help in any way that we can. Along with one-on-one time, we offer many group activities. I hope you will take advantage of any that sound interesting or helpful. If you have any questions about anything, feel free to call me at 740-432-7440.
Remember: We are in the process of transitioning this mailing from paper form to computer. Beginning next month (October), this calendar of events will be available online only UNLESS you let me know. I will be willing to keep you on the mailing list IF you request. We are trying to cut down on some expense. Sorry for any inconvenience. I hope you will look for us online at: www.hospiceofguernsey.com.
September activities:
September 8- “Lunch Bunch” at Annie K’s in Barnesville at noon.
September 14- “Lunch Bunch” at Mr. Lee’s in Cambridge at noon.
Suicide Survivor’s Support Group cancelled this month.
September 22- Support Group at 5:30 p. m. at the Hospice office.
September 24- Breakfast Support Group at 9:00 a.m. @ Patty’s Place in Belle Valley.
September 27- Out of the Darkness Walk for Survivor’s of Suicide from 2-4 pm in Newcomerstown. Register at OutoftheDarkness.org. We can carpool together if interested. Contact me here at hospice.
May a smile touch your soul today!
Terri Wootton MSW, LISW
Bereavement Coordinator
Posted on August 3, 2015
Overall Runners:
Male
Madison Lawton 19.21
Trey Dougherty 19.32
Zack Anderson 20.15
Female
Jenna Furr 20.20
Katie Salins 21.23
Sylvia Magis 21.44
Top Walkers
John Allman 40.17
Meredith Roudebush 40.59
15 & Under Runners
Male
Cole Smith 20.23
Jon Duperier 20.42
Ben Ogle 21.42
Female
Savanah Anderson 22.29
Marissa Ritchie 27.32
Kaylee Smith 27.33
16-20 Runners
Male
Zavin Orr 23.32
Morgan Dougherty 25.03
RJ Douglas 25.04
Female
Rachel Jamiel 22.12
Moriah Carson 22.14
Tia Johnson 23.40
21-30 Runners
Male
Zack Eubanks 28.35
Brian Petta 28.36
Jarod Eubanks 29.22
Female
Nikki Montgomery 22.30
Kelsey Bugher 24.46
Dylan Bugher 27.37
31-40 Runners
Male
Owen Williams 25.14
Howard Wetzler 25.51
Joseph O’Hanlon 27.48
Female
Amanda Koch 25.34
Shannon Wetzler 27.51
Leann Mallernee 28.42
41-50 Runners
Male
Mark Jamiel 21.45
Steve Cartell 26.11
Joe Good 36.44
Female
Kim Orr 26.01
Traci Grywalski 26.33
Mary Tilton 30.13
51-60 Runners
Male
Walter Ecrod 23.41
Tom Orr 26.00
Joe Pieper 36.39
Female
Jeannette Wierzbiki 26.59
Connie Rich 32.29
Grace Pieper
60 and over
Male
Terry Losego 28.2
Female
Lura Wilcoxen 35.41
Chris Woodard 36.13
Posted on July 22, 2015
The summer is quickly slipping away. Summer will soon turn into fall. And whether it has been a week, a month, or a year since the loss of your loved one, you will soon realize that life still goes on. As much as we feel that the whole world should stop when our loved one dies, (for ours certainly did) the seasons continue to come and go. And we are forced to adjust.
All the feelings that overwhelm you when a loved one dies deserve your attention. They are important openings to greater awareness: about the relationship you shared, your own needs, the meaning of life. And they take time!!! They are also the steps to your recovery, for there is no way out but through. Only by letting yourself experience grief can you move beyond it. Beyond—not to your old way of being or what once was “normal”, but beyond to fully integrating loss into your life, to richer understanding, renewed purpose, and deeper spirituality.
Grieving is painful and demanding. But healing does come. The deep pain will subside and you will find yourself able to reflect on your loved one, how your life was and how it is now, and begin to think about how your life will be in the future. Personally, I lost my best friend. The void still exists when I can no longer share the excitement and pictures of my grandbaby or just pick up the phone and talk about my day! A BIG sigh …but I can testify that the pain has lessened in intensity. It no longer consumes me, but I will never forget her. She, in many ways, helped shape me into how I respond today. She will always be present in my life.
You don’t have to go through this time alone. As part of our Hospice family, please take advantage of the services we offer. I am also available by phone or appointment.
August activities at Hospice:
Aug. 10: “Lunch Bunch” at Mr. Lee’s at 12:00. Lunch on your own. It is a time of food and fellowship with others who have suffered a loss. For information, call 740-432-7440.
Aug.11: Support lunch group @ Annie K’s in Barnesville @ 11:00 am.
The breakfast support group that always met @ Mr. Lees has been cancelled until further notice.
Aug. 20: Monthly Suicide Survivor’s Support Group @ 6:00 pm @ Mr. Lee’s.
Aug. 25: Monthly Support Group @ 5:30 pm @ the Hospice office CANCELLED for the Month.
Aug. 27: Breakfast Support Group @ Patty’s Place in Caldwell @ 9:00 am
FYI: We are in the process of transitioning this mailing from paper form to computer. As of October, this calendar of events will be available online only UNLESS you let me know. I will be willing to keep you on the paper mailing list IF you request. We are trying to cut down on some expense. Sorry for any inconvenience. I hope you will look for us online at: www.hospiceofguernsey.com.
Hope to see you or talk with you soon!
Terri Wootton MSW, LISW
Bereavement Coordinator
Posted on July 2, 2015
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